So it has been 2 years and 6 months since I had my IUI. If you’ve read my previous post you’d know it wasn’t successful. Hubby and I have since moved to Iloilo because of work, and to be in a new environment, hopefully have a more stressful life and finally get pregnant here. Moving here was actually a bit counterproductive. There’s only one fertility specialist here in Iloilo, and it’s difficult to find an economical and reliable place to have my follicle monitoring. I only realised that a few months into our stay here. I only had one consult with an RE here, but because of my busy schedule, I never did any follow through.
We weren’t thinking about it anymore. We’ve even started talking about going through adoption already... we’ve been seriously talkingn about it even before moving to Iloilo. We’ve already attended an adoption forum, but we’re facing the obstacle of residency since we’re not originally from here and DSWD is strict with that, which we understand.
Jay and I were doing well with our careers and it’s basically what we’ve just been busy about. But we realised that we still want to have a baby. I personally want to still get pregnant even though I’ve already thought about adoption. When I told my manager about my plan to go on leave for 2 months the reason I gave her was that this will be my last hurrah before we go into the next step of our adoption process. So here we are, a few weeks shy of our 2nd year anniversary of moving to Iloilo and we’re still trying to get pregnant.
I had an unproductive cycle last month and I’m hoping against all hopes that this motth will be different. It’s been 2 weeks already since I last went to work and I’m just totally focused now on our baby bee project and trying to get healthy. Last cycle I was put on clomiphene for 100mg and had my scan at CD 13 and the result was a bit disappointing because my follicles were not growing that much. I drank lots of milk because I read in a forum that it will help thre follies grow. I was also taking opk tests and I’ve only been getting negatives, until day 21 when I finally got a smiley. :) I thought I was out of the game already because my OB said my follies were small but I should still try because who knows, they might grow big at the last minute. On the day that I tested, I felt something like an ovulation pain so I thought it won’t hurt if I test, and voila! I got a positive! Jay and I did our homework, but on what was supposed to be my 8dpo, my af came. :( The meds I took that time were just clomiphene to help with ovulation and duphaston to help regulate my cycle. AF came 3 days after my last tablet, so it’s either we missed the egg, or ot didn’t implant. Who knows?
So now we’re in the middle of our 2nd cycle and this time my OB put me on 150mg of clomiphene. The hot flashes are insane!!! But anything to have a baby bee! Aside from clomiphene, I’ve also been taking myo inositol and d-chiro inositol and evening primrose oil. I’ve also started doing a castor oil pack and fertility massage, and I’m also on my 5th day of doing intermittent fasting. But I have yet to see any real results because earlier today I had my follicle monitoring and the same as last time the follies are still small. I only have follie that has potential but the rest are too small. :( What’s worse is that my lining is too thin!!! :( and my OB said that’s because of the high dosage for clomiphene. So he prescribed Proginova (estrogen replacement therapy) to help thicken my lining and I hope that it helps. At this stage I’m just willing to do almost anything to get pregnant except any superstitious beliefs. So yeah, I’ll also be enrolling at a gym tomorrow and I’ve also bought some flax seed to help with my nutrition.
Hay... the things I’ll do to have a baby, but in the end I know it’s still in God’s hands. I can only do so much, but God can do more than I can ever ask or imagine. I’m glad God is sovereign.
Friday, July 27, 2018
Monday, February 15, 2016
Heartbreak on Valentine's Day
This is how Miss Colombia must've felt.
Yesterday morning was my test day. My OB told me to wait for 2 weeks after the procedure and the last progesterone supplement before taking a pregnancy test. This is to avoid a false positive just in case the HCG trigger is still in my system.
So I waited. For 2 weeks. Although… I tested a week ago just to see if I still had some HCG and sure enough, I got a 2nd faint line. So I thought, because it's faint the hormone must be on its way out.
Jay wanted to be there when I take the PT. I would normally do it behind his back because I want to surprise him. But this time he insisted that I wake him up when I'm about to test. I woke up at around 4am because I felt the need to pee. I also woke Jay up and we did the test. We prayed while waiting for the result, then I went to the bathroom to check and there it was. A faint second line. But a line nonetheless. Jay saw it too so I knew my eyes weren't playing tricks on me. Now if you've been trying to conceive for many years, you must've visited every blog, forum and website about getting pregnant, then you know that a faint second line is a positive result.
So I was happy. Jay was cautiously happy. But I just couldn't stop thanking God for the answered prayer. I texted my OB and told her that it was just a faint line. She said that's okay because it might just be too early and I can do a repeat test the next day. She also told me to continue with my progesterone supplements.
We were so excited we wanted to tell the world. But we kept it to ourselves because we need to know for sure. We've had 2 false positives in the past so we were very cautious but it didn't stop us from planning on how to break the news to our family. We don't celebrate Valentine's day, but we thought it was a cool Valentine's gift. I already downloaded a pregnancy app and if I were pregnant the baby would've been as small as a poppy seed. Exciting times!
We went to church and had breakfast then Jay had to go to work. I tried to buy some medicine but it was out of stock so I just went home and fell asleep.
Our friend Jem came over with her baby and I hung out with them for a bit then went to the loo. That's when I noticed something in the toilet bowl. There was a very small pinkish blob. Then I realized that I was bleeding. I took a bath because it was really hot and good thing I have one pad at home so I could monitor the bleeding. I messaged Jay and our OB. I was panicking, crying and praying… pleading with God. I didn't know what to pray. I don't know if I was miscarrying or if I had a false positive and was already having my period.
I stayed in bed, afraid to move. My OB replied and told me to take another test the next day if the bleeding continues. It did continue. Like in-your-face-you're-not-pregnant-it-was-a-false-positive kind of bleeding. I'm slowly coming to terms that it's a failed IUI. The faint second line might still be because of the HCG. And I'm already having my period now.
I waited for Jay to come home so I can cry some more. I was so confused and felt like my heart was breaking into a million pieces. Even if I knew the success rate for IUI (and it's not very high), I just put everything on the line. I put whatever faith I can afford in God.
Sometimes I don't know how faith works anymore. I have more questions than answers. But we choose to believe and trust. And just like what Jay said in his prayer this morning, we'll continue to serve & praise God. We'll keep on going. We'll try again. We'll rest, save up, then try again. And again.
Yesterday morning was my test day. My OB told me to wait for 2 weeks after the procedure and the last progesterone supplement before taking a pregnancy test. This is to avoid a false positive just in case the HCG trigger is still in my system.
So I waited. For 2 weeks. Although… I tested a week ago just to see if I still had some HCG and sure enough, I got a 2nd faint line. So I thought, because it's faint the hormone must be on its way out.
Jay wanted to be there when I take the PT. I would normally do it behind his back because I want to surprise him. But this time he insisted that I wake him up when I'm about to test. I woke up at around 4am because I felt the need to pee. I also woke Jay up and we did the test. We prayed while waiting for the result, then I went to the bathroom to check and there it was. A faint second line. But a line nonetheless. Jay saw it too so I knew my eyes weren't playing tricks on me. Now if you've been trying to conceive for many years, you must've visited every blog, forum and website about getting pregnant, then you know that a faint second line is a positive result.
So I was happy. Jay was cautiously happy. But I just couldn't stop thanking God for the answered prayer. I texted my OB and told her that it was just a faint line. She said that's okay because it might just be too early and I can do a repeat test the next day. She also told me to continue with my progesterone supplements.
We were so excited we wanted to tell the world. But we kept it to ourselves because we need to know for sure. We've had 2 false positives in the past so we were very cautious but it didn't stop us from planning on how to break the news to our family. We don't celebrate Valentine's day, but we thought it was a cool Valentine's gift. I already downloaded a pregnancy app and if I were pregnant the baby would've been as small as a poppy seed. Exciting times!
We went to church and had breakfast then Jay had to go to work. I tried to buy some medicine but it was out of stock so I just went home and fell asleep.
Our friend Jem came over with her baby and I hung out with them for a bit then went to the loo. That's when I noticed something in the toilet bowl. There was a very small pinkish blob. Then I realized that I was bleeding. I took a bath because it was really hot and good thing I have one pad at home so I could monitor the bleeding. I messaged Jay and our OB. I was panicking, crying and praying… pleading with God. I didn't know what to pray. I don't know if I was miscarrying or if I had a false positive and was already having my period.
I stayed in bed, afraid to move. My OB replied and told me to take another test the next day if the bleeding continues. It did continue. Like in-your-face-you're-not-pregnant-it-was-a-false-positive kind of bleeding. I'm slowly coming to terms that it's a failed IUI. The faint second line might still be because of the HCG. And I'm already having my period now.
I waited for Jay to come home so I can cry some more. I was so confused and felt like my heart was breaking into a million pieces. Even if I knew the success rate for IUI (and it's not very high), I just put everything on the line. I put whatever faith I can afford in God.
Sometimes I don't know how faith works anymore. I have more questions than answers. But we choose to believe and trust. And just like what Jay said in his prayer this morning, we'll continue to serve & praise God. We'll keep on going. We'll try again. We'll rest, save up, then try again. And again.
Tuesday, February 9, 2016
IUI Cost - Philippines
IUI is expensive. You have to prepare your finances and have a game plan about it. As I've shared in my other post, we used our money from our 13th month pay to pay for the IUI.
Below is a breakdown of our expenses starting from before our IUI cycle even started. In my previous post I mentioned that I haven't had my period for 82 days so my OB prescribed a medicine to jumpstart it, and we'll start from there.
Duphaston - 65/piece x 10 - 650
Follicle monitoring - 1,000/ultrasound x 3 - 3,000
Clomiphene* - 100/piece x 10 - 1,000
Gonal-F - 3,000/shot x 3 - 9,000
HCG Trigger - 3,000/shot x 1 - 3,000
IUI Procedure** - 9,629.76
Professional fee*** - 5,000
Utrogestan - 62/capsule x 15 - 930
Total: 32, 209.76
*This is the generic name. I can't remember the brand I bought, but this was the cheapest in Mercury Cubao at that time, the other one was around 200+
**Our IUI procedure was done in St. Lukes QC in their Advanced Reproductive Care Unit (ARCU)
***Our OB/RE's clinic at St. Lukes QC and her name is Lorelyn Madamba
Below is a breakdown of our expenses starting from before our IUI cycle even started. In my previous post I mentioned that I haven't had my period for 82 days so my OB prescribed a medicine to jumpstart it, and we'll start from there.
Duphaston - 65/piece x 10 - 650
Follicle monitoring - 1,000/ultrasound x 3 - 3,000
Clomiphene* - 100/piece x 10 - 1,000
Gonal-F - 3,000/shot x 3 - 9,000
HCG Trigger - 3,000/shot x 1 - 3,000
IUI Procedure** - 9,629.76
Professional fee*** - 5,000
Utrogestan - 62/capsule x 15 - 930
Total: 32, 209.76
*This is the generic name. I can't remember the brand I bought, but this was the cheapest in Mercury Cubao at that time, the other one was around 200+
**Our IUI procedure was done in St. Lukes QC in their Advanced Reproductive Care Unit (ARCU)
***Our OB/RE's clinic at St. Lukes QC and her name is Lorelyn Madamba
Monday, February 8, 2016
Our IUI Story (Part 2)
Okay, so let's get down to business.
After our failed cycle where I had some stims (medications taken to stimulate ovulation) and timed intercourse, I went back to my OB and told her straight that we want to try IUI. So I asked her the usual questions, like how does it work (even if I already know how, thanks to Youtube and Google), and how much it would cost because we need to prepare our finances. She told me that I should budget not just the finances but also my time, because it's very time consuming.
Now when I met with her before we started the IUI cycle, I haven't had my period yet, and I haven't had it for about 82 days. And no, I wasn't pregnant. So she put me on meds to induce my period and advised me to get a TVS (transvaginal ultrasound) to get a baseline for my follicle monitoring, and also to check if there are any left over follicles from the previous cycle. Everything should be timed accordingly.
Now, let me share some tips that will help you prepare for an IUI. Again, I'm not an expert, just somebody who's "been there, done that". It's still best to follow your OB/RE's advice.
Tip #1: Time Your Consultation with Your OB/RE
-If your period is irregular and you haven't had it in a loooong time, you can go straight to your OB so she can give you some medicine to jumpstart your period. Otherwise, you can just go on or before your first day of period because the first day will be the baseline of when you will be taking your ovulation meds and your follicle monitoring.
Tip #2: Check Your Schedule
-When trying to conceive, timing is everything. There was a time when I thought of taking a leave of absence because I know how the whole process is going to affect my time at work. Thank God I have amazing co-workers who understood my situation and I just think it's God's providence that during the week that I'll be having most of my check-ups, my shift started at 11am, so instead of going half-day, I only had to be late for a couple of hours. But I had to be absent on the day of the procedure. However, my husband's rest day is Thursday-Friday, and the procedure fell on a Friday! That means he didn't have to be absent. So yeah, you also have to take into consideration both you and your hubby's schedule. If both of you are working, it's best to give your manager, supervisor, or immediate boss a heads up that you will be undergoing a procedure and that there may be days that you'll be absent or late. In some companies, your have to file your leaves a month in advance, and the tricky thing about timing your leaves is almost everything about IUI will be based on your first day of period. So if you know a month in advance when your period will be, then you can start filing your leaves now. Or just bite the bullet and say goodbye to your attendance incentives (if you have any).
Tip #3: Be Brave
-I have just unlocked a level of bravery because of the shots I had to take to ovulate. I'm no stranger to needles, but I haven't done any self-injection until I started the IUI process. It was exciting and frightening all at the same time. I was actually more concerned about how to prepare the injection than the actual insertion of the needle. Of course my OB gave a demo by doing the first shot. The 2nd shot was done by my officemate who's a registered nurse. That was during the previous cycle. For this cycle, I took home the shots and administered both myself. The needle is very small, similar to what's used for insulin shots. So whether or not you'll be self-injecting or going back to the OB for your shots (which I found to be impractical that's why I took mine home), now's the time to face your fears because it will all be worth it in the end. :)
Tip #4: Set Aside a Budget for it
-TTC is expensive. Even if you don't go through IUI or even IVF, it's still going to be expensive. The medicines you have to take are expensive. Ultrasounds are expensive. Consultation with a specialist is expensive. That's why we timed our IUI after Christmas because that's when we have extra money. But we also tried to save more by cutting down our expenses. Thank God I married a budget-conscious husband.
Tip #5: Prayer Works
-Just pray. Have faith and believe that whatever the result may be, God is still in control. We can only do so much. Science can only do so much. Everything will still be up to God and His perfect timing. We are in our waiting period right now and I can't help but be anxious sometimes. So we always pray for God to give us peace of mind. Keep on trusting.
Now let me share with you my time line for my IUI. It all started with day 71 of my previous cycle.
January 4 - CD71. consultation with the doctor, told her we've decided to do the IUI. OB gave me prescription for Duphaston that I have to take for 10 days to jumpstart my period. She also told me to schedule an ultrasound anytime between day 3-5 of my period. Took my first tablet of Duphaston on this day too.
January 16 - CD1. First day of period. 2 Days after my last Duphaston tablet.
January 20 - CD5. Baseline scan for follicle monitoring.
There you have it. Our TTC is a very long journey, and we don't know yet when it will end. But we'll continue to pray, believe and have faith, not only for us to have a baby, but for our (including yours) deepest desires to be met by our loving Father.
I'll continue with the financial side of IUI in my next post. See yah!
After our failed cycle where I had some stims (medications taken to stimulate ovulation) and timed intercourse, I went back to my OB and told her straight that we want to try IUI. So I asked her the usual questions, like how does it work (even if I already know how, thanks to Youtube and Google), and how much it would cost because we need to prepare our finances. She told me that I should budget not just the finances but also my time, because it's very time consuming.
Now when I met with her before we started the IUI cycle, I haven't had my period yet, and I haven't had it for about 82 days. And no, I wasn't pregnant. So she put me on meds to induce my period and advised me to get a TVS (transvaginal ultrasound) to get a baseline for my follicle monitoring, and also to check if there are any left over follicles from the previous cycle. Everything should be timed accordingly.
Now, let me share some tips that will help you prepare for an IUI. Again, I'm not an expert, just somebody who's "been there, done that". It's still best to follow your OB/RE's advice.
Tip #1: Time Your Consultation with Your OB/RE
-If your period is irregular and you haven't had it in a loooong time, you can go straight to your OB so she can give you some medicine to jumpstart your period. Otherwise, you can just go on or before your first day of period because the first day will be the baseline of when you will be taking your ovulation meds and your follicle monitoring.
Tip #2: Check Your Schedule
-When trying to conceive, timing is everything. There was a time when I thought of taking a leave of absence because I know how the whole process is going to affect my time at work. Thank God I have amazing co-workers who understood my situation and I just think it's God's providence that during the week that I'll be having most of my check-ups, my shift started at 11am, so instead of going half-day, I only had to be late for a couple of hours. But I had to be absent on the day of the procedure. However, my husband's rest day is Thursday-Friday, and the procedure fell on a Friday! That means he didn't have to be absent. So yeah, you also have to take into consideration both you and your hubby's schedule. If both of you are working, it's best to give your manager, supervisor, or immediate boss a heads up that you will be undergoing a procedure and that there may be days that you'll be absent or late. In some companies, your have to file your leaves a month in advance, and the tricky thing about timing your leaves is almost everything about IUI will be based on your first day of period. So if you know a month in advance when your period will be, then you can start filing your leaves now. Or just bite the bullet and say goodbye to your attendance incentives (if you have any).
Tip #3: Be Brave
-I have just unlocked a level of bravery because of the shots I had to take to ovulate. I'm no stranger to needles, but I haven't done any self-injection until I started the IUI process. It was exciting and frightening all at the same time. I was actually more concerned about how to prepare the injection than the actual insertion of the needle. Of course my OB gave a demo by doing the first shot. The 2nd shot was done by my officemate who's a registered nurse. That was during the previous cycle. For this cycle, I took home the shots and administered both myself. The needle is very small, similar to what's used for insulin shots. So whether or not you'll be self-injecting or going back to the OB for your shots (which I found to be impractical that's why I took mine home), now's the time to face your fears because it will all be worth it in the end. :)
 |
| It's a baby needle! No need to be scared. |
 |
| Family Picture! |
 |
| Don't be intimidated by this bad boy! It's only used to get the medicine from the bottle. |
Tip #4: Set Aside a Budget for it
-TTC is expensive. Even if you don't go through IUI or even IVF, it's still going to be expensive. The medicines you have to take are expensive. Ultrasounds are expensive. Consultation with a specialist is expensive. That's why we timed our IUI after Christmas because that's when we have extra money. But we also tried to save more by cutting down our expenses. Thank God I married a budget-conscious husband.
Tip #5: Prayer Works
-Just pray. Have faith and believe that whatever the result may be, God is still in control. We can only do so much. Science can only do so much. Everything will still be up to God and His perfect timing. We are in our waiting period right now and I can't help but be anxious sometimes. So we always pray for God to give us peace of mind. Keep on trusting.
Now let me share with you my time line for my IUI. It all started with day 71 of my previous cycle.
January 4 - CD71. consultation with the doctor, told her we've decided to do the IUI. OB gave me prescription for Duphaston that I have to take for 10 days to jumpstart my period. She also told me to schedule an ultrasound anytime between day 3-5 of my period. Took my first tablet of Duphaston on this day too.
January 16 - CD1. First day of period. 2 Days after my last Duphaston tablet.
January 20 - CD5. Baseline scan for follicle monitoring.
- Endometrium thickness: 0.38cm
- One developing follicle on each ovary
- Was prescribed to take Clomiphene, 2x a day for 5 days. Took first tablet on the same day.
January 25 - CD10. First day of Gonal-F. Self-injected.
January 26 - CD11. Second day of Gonal-F. My OB initially prescribed 2 shots of Gonal-F because my body responded to it pretty well during the first cycle.
January 27 - CD12. Follicle monitoring. Showed results to my OB. I have 2 follicle-candidates and one even grew to 2.0cm but doc said it still needs to grow bigger. She gave me another shot of Gonal-F. Follies in my left ovary were very lazy.
January 28 - CD13. Follow up follicle monitoring. Took Jay with me this time. The 2 follicles both grew bigger! Yey! The bigger one was about 2.2cm. Doc gave me my HCG shot to make my follicle pop and release the golden egg. IUI was scheduled for the next day.
January 29 - CD14. IUI day. We arrived at around 12nn at the hospital. Jay's sperm was collected first then washed. The nurse said it will take around 2 hours to prepare the sperm so we had lunch first. When we got back to the hospital, we waited for 30 minutes or so, then I was asked to go to the procedure room and wait for my OB. The procedure was painless. It's like getting a pap smear. Best thing about it was Jay was there the entire time. He even wanted to watch the procedure but I convinced him to stay beside me. After the procedure, doc prescribed some medicine (Utrogestan) to help thicken my lining for implantation, and to help the baby stick if it results to pregnancy. I then had to lay still for almost an hour. I just played solitaire on my phone.
There you have it. Our TTC is a very long journey, and we don't know yet when it will end. But we'll continue to pray, believe and have faith, not only for us to have a baby, but for our (including yours) deepest desires to be met by our loving Father.
I'll continue with the financial side of IUI in my next post. See yah!
Friday, February 5, 2016
Our IUI Story… or our TTC Story so far (Part 1)
Okay. Soooo. Intrauterine Insemination.
Sounds complicated, expensive and scary.
First, because it's a mouthful, and could be tricky to spell. Three words or Two words? Is there a dash somewhere there? And also because the pronunciation differs from one person to another. Intra-yoo-te-reen or intra-yoo-te-rayn? Thank God for abbreviations! :) We can just stick with IUI.
So what is it and how does it work? If you are having some fertility issues, or you have a friend or a family member who's been trying for yeeeears to have a baby, maybe this post will help you understand the process. I'm not an expert, so it's still best to consult a specialist. :) I'll just be sharing what Jay and I went through financially, physically, emotionally and mentally, for the last 5 years.
Here we go… Warning: Looooooong post ahead. (But I'll cut this post into 2 parts to hopefully trick your brain that it's not that long).
Just a not-so-quick background, Jay and I have been married for 5 years and we started trying to get pregnant right off the bat. I secretly wished for a honeymoon baby and I must've put a great deal of pressure on Jay at that time. Poor guy. My idea then was: First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby (in a baby carriage! I know you want to sing it), with a very short time interval between the last two events. Love and marriage happened at the perfect time. The third one, well, we're getting there. I just thought it would happen really quickly.
Now I'm not the type who tracks her monthly period. I just didn't see the need for it until after a couple of months of trying to conceive (TTC) unsuccessfully. And I started tracking not just my period, but also our BD's (Check this post if you want to know what this is. Haha). When it didn't work by August after doing the deed as often as humanly possible (Beyb and I got married on May 2011), my dad recommended that I consult one of her clients who's an OB-GYN. She just told me to lose weight, eat healthy and to continue with our BD on certain days of the month. All were such a good idea, if your monthly period comes like clockwork. We never went back to her. Jay also didn't like her because she spent a great deal of time promoting organic foods during our first and only consultation. We couldn't say good bye to our late night fast-food runs. Yep, that's the perk of living in close proximity to 5 McDonald's stores which are open 24/7.
Dr. #1 was the first of many OB-GYNs we would visit over the course of 5 years. We are now on our 8th, and hopefully our last. Three of those doctors are Reproductive Endocrinologists or infertility experts. Our first RE was very motherly. She encouraged me to lose weight, and she gave me fertility pills to help me ovulate. She was the one who ordered for a TVS (transvaginal ultrasound) to check my ovaries and that's when I found out I have PCOS. However, she also had a lot of patients that we had to wait a minimum of 2 hours to see her whether we're the first patient in line or not. And consultations with her were very short and a lot of times I have to tell her AGAIN what's wrong with me. Or the other way around. "Oh, those pimples on your chin, that means you have PCOS." Yeah, tell me something I don't know, doc. I felt like a number, just another patient she needs to see. So we parted ways and never looked back.
Our 2nd RE was intimidating and Jay never had the chance to meet her. She's a very methodical, straightforward, no-nonsense doctor. The first time I met her, she gave me a piece of paper with her fertility plan. It included constant medication for 6 months to regulate my period, 3 months of taking clomiphene to help me ovulate (you can't do it for more than 3 consecutive months), and other procedures along the way. She has 4 clinics and I just got tired of following her around. Also, during the time I was seeing her, I had just started with my new job and I couldn't skip work, and she's veeeeery strict with the timing of the check-ups and follicle monitoring. So our relationship just didn't work out. We called it quits after 3 cycles.
Before meeting my 3rd RE, I had an in between doctor. By the way, we also choose doctors who are accredited by our company's HMO provider. My dad had another client who's an OB-Gyn, and she was actually my sister-in-law's OB when she gave birth to her daughter. She's like a family friend, so I was very comfortable with her. However, she focused more on making me lose my weight that she wanted me to try the south beach diet since it worked for her. Don't get me wrong. I've tried countless of times to lose weight, to no avail. And in my head I would always reason out that other overweight women were able to get pregnant, so why lose weight? Hahaha. I have friends who would come up to me and tell me that a relative who's bigger than me, and who also has PCOS was able to get pregnant. So out of frustration, we decided to just stop for the mean time and rest.
TTC is very exhausting. I realized that my threshold for undergoing consecutive fertility treatments is just 3 cycles. After 3 unsuccessful cycles, I'm just not able to go through it emotionally and psychologically.
After resting for almost a year, Jay and I decided to go work on our baby project more eagerly. And that's when we met RE #3. You can see the other details about my experience with her in this post, and at the same time read about what happened in my cycle before our IUI.
But rest your eyes first, stretch your legs, go get some water, and I'll be back with part 2 of this post. :)
First, because it's a mouthful, and could be tricky to spell. Three words or Two words? Is there a dash somewhere there? And also because the pronunciation differs from one person to another. Intra-yoo-te-reen or intra-yoo-te-rayn? Thank God for abbreviations! :) We can just stick with IUI.
So what is it and how does it work? If you are having some fertility issues, or you have a friend or a family member who's been trying for yeeeears to have a baby, maybe this post will help you understand the process. I'm not an expert, so it's still best to consult a specialist. :) I'll just be sharing what Jay and I went through financially, physically, emotionally and mentally, for the last 5 years.
Here we go… Warning: Looooooong post ahead. (But I'll cut this post into 2 parts to hopefully trick your brain that it's not that long).
Just a not-so-quick background, Jay and I have been married for 5 years and we started trying to get pregnant right off the bat. I secretly wished for a honeymoon baby and I must've put a great deal of pressure on Jay at that time. Poor guy. My idea then was: First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby (in a baby carriage! I know you want to sing it), with a very short time interval between the last two events. Love and marriage happened at the perfect time. The third one, well, we're getting there. I just thought it would happen really quickly.
Now I'm not the type who tracks her monthly period. I just didn't see the need for it until after a couple of months of trying to conceive (TTC) unsuccessfully. And I started tracking not just my period, but also our BD's (Check this post if you want to know what this is. Haha). When it didn't work by August after doing the deed as often as humanly possible (Beyb and I got married on May 2011), my dad recommended that I consult one of her clients who's an OB-GYN. She just told me to lose weight, eat healthy and to continue with our BD on certain days of the month. All were such a good idea, if your monthly period comes like clockwork. We never went back to her. Jay also didn't like her because she spent a great deal of time promoting organic foods during our first and only consultation. We couldn't say good bye to our late night fast-food runs. Yep, that's the perk of living in close proximity to 5 McDonald's stores which are open 24/7.
Dr. #1 was the first of many OB-GYNs we would visit over the course of 5 years. We are now on our 8th, and hopefully our last. Three of those doctors are Reproductive Endocrinologists or infertility experts. Our first RE was very motherly. She encouraged me to lose weight, and she gave me fertility pills to help me ovulate. She was the one who ordered for a TVS (transvaginal ultrasound) to check my ovaries and that's when I found out I have PCOS. However, she also had a lot of patients that we had to wait a minimum of 2 hours to see her whether we're the first patient in line or not. And consultations with her were very short and a lot of times I have to tell her AGAIN what's wrong with me. Or the other way around. "Oh, those pimples on your chin, that means you have PCOS." Yeah, tell me something I don't know, doc. I felt like a number, just another patient she needs to see. So we parted ways and never looked back.
Our 2nd RE was intimidating and Jay never had the chance to meet her. She's a very methodical, straightforward, no-nonsense doctor. The first time I met her, she gave me a piece of paper with her fertility plan. It included constant medication for 6 months to regulate my period, 3 months of taking clomiphene to help me ovulate (you can't do it for more than 3 consecutive months), and other procedures along the way. She has 4 clinics and I just got tired of following her around. Also, during the time I was seeing her, I had just started with my new job and I couldn't skip work, and she's veeeeery strict with the timing of the check-ups and follicle monitoring. So our relationship just didn't work out. We called it quits after 3 cycles.
 |
| RE #2's Fertility Game Plan. See how thorough she is? |
TTC is very exhausting. I realized that my threshold for undergoing consecutive fertility treatments is just 3 cycles. After 3 unsuccessful cycles, I'm just not able to go through it emotionally and psychologically.
After resting for almost a year, Jay and I decided to go work on our baby project more eagerly. And that's when we met RE #3. You can see the other details about my experience with her in this post, and at the same time read about what happened in my cycle before our IUI.
But rest your eyes first, stretch your legs, go get some water, and I'll be back with part 2 of this post. :)
Sunday, January 31, 2016
I'm Back!
So it's been a looooong time since I last posted something here, and a lot of things had happened since then.
We're still on our journey to becoming parents and just yesterday we had our first (and hopefully the last) IUI (intrauterine insemination). I think I've overs shared it on Facebook, so I decided to just write a post about it so I can talk about it more without people hiding me from their timelines. Jay and I tend to over share when we're excited about something.
The last post I made I think was about my hormones and how they are all over the place. So we stopped seeing our previous doctor and decided to rest for a while. We didn't proactively try having a baby again until late last year. And Jay and I thought that will be taking it more seriously. So we went to a new OB/GYN who is also an infertility specialist. She put me on the some meds, same as the ones I've been taking during my previous treatments, and the only difference is that I was also given some shots of Gonal-F to help me ovulate. I also had more follicle monitoring this time, and my OB insisted that I go to an OB Sonologist, not just a regular radiologist who does ultrasound. That meant I have to pay more and I didn't even know that there was a difference. My deciding factor was always the cost in choosing where to have my ultrasound done because I have to do it many times!
Anyway, so we had to monitor my follicles to know when I would ovulate. Because that's the thing with having PCOS. I just don't know when I'll lay the golden egg! So aside from stimulating my ovaries with all the medicines, we also have to check if my follicles are growing so we can time our, ehem, baby dance(BD). It's a legit term, guys! Hahaha. I've read that in other TTC (trying to conceive) blogs, forums and websites.
Sadly, our first round which started on October 26, 2015, failed. :( I'm not even sure if I ovulated. But my follicle grew to 34mm, which is not a good size because it got too big and the ideal number is around 20mm or so. We were ready and pumped up when my follicle matured to 22mm that when I showed my ultrasound result to my OB, she advised us to get it on that night. She said that my follicle will burst anytime soon and I should have another scan to check if I had ovulated. But it just grew and I didn't show my OB the 2nd result because I knew it was a failed cycle.
I stopped going to the doctor because December was fast approaching. I was sure I wouldn't be able to commit 100% because of the holidays and I just wanted to enjoy the Christmas season. And I'm pretty sure my OB would be hard to find because December is always a busy month.
So Jay and I decided that for the next round we'd be pushing through with our IUI. We had the savings from our 13th month pay to spend for the procedure and we were just waiting for my period to start. Yep, from the last cycle I had, my period didn't come for like 82 days! If I didn't know better I would've thought I was pregnant! I actually thought I was and that caused the "Christmas of 2015 meltdown". And that deserves a post on its own.
The year 2015 didn't end too well for us in terms of overcoming our infertility challenge. But we're facing 2016 with renewed hope. It's scary and exciting at the same time. We try to lean more towards being excited and expectant about it. But we also proceed with caution, so we don't get too disappointed when the outcome is not favourable.
I'll be writing a separate blog about our IUI experience hoping it would help someone who's going through the same struggles we're facing.
#StayPositive
FAST FACT:
Follicle: A fluid-filled sac that contains an immature egg. They are found in the ovaries. During ovulation, a mature egg is released from the follicle so it can be fertilised by a sperm. While several follicles grow at the same time during each cycle, normally, only one will release an egg then turn into a corpus luteum afterwards .
P.S.
So if you didn't receive anything from us this Christmas, rest assured that the money went to a good cause. :)
We're still on our journey to becoming parents and just yesterday we had our first (and hopefully the last) IUI (intrauterine insemination). I think I've overs shared it on Facebook, so I decided to just write a post about it so I can talk about it more without people hiding me from their timelines. Jay and I tend to over share when we're excited about something.
The last post I made I think was about my hormones and how they are all over the place. So we stopped seeing our previous doctor and decided to rest for a while. We didn't proactively try having a baby again until late last year. And Jay and I thought that will be taking it more seriously. So we went to a new OB/GYN who is also an infertility specialist. She put me on the some meds, same as the ones I've been taking during my previous treatments, and the only difference is that I was also given some shots of Gonal-F to help me ovulate. I also had more follicle monitoring this time, and my OB insisted that I go to an OB Sonologist, not just a regular radiologist who does ultrasound. That meant I have to pay more and I didn't even know that there was a difference. My deciding factor was always the cost in choosing where to have my ultrasound done because I have to do it many times!
Anyway, so we had to monitor my follicles to know when I would ovulate. Because that's the thing with having PCOS. I just don't know when I'll lay the golden egg! So aside from stimulating my ovaries with all the medicines, we also have to check if my follicles are growing so we can time our, ehem, baby dance(BD). It's a legit term, guys! Hahaha. I've read that in other TTC (trying to conceive) blogs, forums and websites.
Sadly, our first round which started on October 26, 2015, failed. :( I'm not even sure if I ovulated. But my follicle grew to 34mm, which is not a good size because it got too big and the ideal number is around 20mm or so. We were ready and pumped up when my follicle matured to 22mm that when I showed my ultrasound result to my OB, she advised us to get it on that night. She said that my follicle will burst anytime soon and I should have another scan to check if I had ovulated. But it just grew and I didn't show my OB the 2nd result because I knew it was a failed cycle.
I stopped going to the doctor because December was fast approaching. I was sure I wouldn't be able to commit 100% because of the holidays and I just wanted to enjoy the Christmas season. And I'm pretty sure my OB would be hard to find because December is always a busy month.
So Jay and I decided that for the next round we'd be pushing through with our IUI. We had the savings from our 13th month pay to spend for the procedure and we were just waiting for my period to start. Yep, from the last cycle I had, my period didn't come for like 82 days! If I didn't know better I would've thought I was pregnant! I actually thought I was and that caused the "Christmas of 2015 meltdown". And that deserves a post on its own.
The year 2015 didn't end too well for us in terms of overcoming our infertility challenge. But we're facing 2016 with renewed hope. It's scary and exciting at the same time. We try to lean more towards being excited and expectant about it. But we also proceed with caution, so we don't get too disappointed when the outcome is not favourable.
I'll be writing a separate blog about our IUI experience hoping it would help someone who's going through the same struggles we're facing.
#StayPositive
FAST FACT:
Follicle: A fluid-filled sac that contains an immature egg. They are found in the ovaries. During ovulation, a mature egg is released from the follicle so it can be fertilised by a sperm. While several follicles grow at the same time during each cycle, normally, only one will release an egg then turn into a corpus luteum afterwards .
P.S.
So if you didn't receive anything from us this Christmas, rest assured that the money went to a good cause. :)
Wednesday, June 4, 2014
Out of our hands
Last weekend I went to my parents' house to see my Ob-Gyn (Dr. Malou Escobar). She was the one who delivered my adorable niece. She's not a fertility specialist but she's handled infertility cases and hopefully the last doctor we'll be consulting for our baby journey. Yep, I have a long list of doctors I've consulted with but Jay and I have decided to finally stick with her. Thank God for my dad's network of doctors (they're the best ones in their fields, too!)
It was really God's providence that I was able to see her and consult with her for free! Bless her heart.
The first time I went to her office was late last year. When I was about to go for a follow up consultation, Jay and I missed her by a few minutes. We got to her clinic and was told by her secretary that she had just left for a meeting. I got frustrated and didn't feel like going back to see her again. I was really upset because we had to travel some distance but things didn't go according to plan.
So I looked up the internet for another OB who's also a reproductive endocrinologist and is accredited by our company's HMO. I found one and I saw her thrice. For reference, let's call her Dr. A. She laid down a fertility game plan and I was at the 3rd month of our first phase when I decided to rest. I was supposed to do my last round of taking fertility pills and follicle monitoring last month to see if I was releasing eggs but I decided to rest.
That's just me giving up at the last leg of our 3-month plan because I wasn't seeing any results. I was probably scared to get to the end of the first phase where, according to that OB, I have a 60-80% success rate. Because if nothing happens the 2nd phase will only have a 2-11% success rate. At the back of my head, I was doing my delaying tactics. But two consecutive months of trying did take a toll on me so resting for a cycle or two was the most logical step to take. I realized that 2 cycles of actively trying is my limit.
After that period of rest, I talked with Jay and broached the idea of trying again. We've had that type of conversation before, and discussed up to what extent we will try having a baby and at what age we'd consider adopting. We both agreed IVF is out of the equation (at least for now since we haven't really explored it. The cost is enough to discourage us). We also talked very briefly about how our finances will be affected by the fertility work up since we have to undergo numerous tests and take medications or supplements.
We've also decided to go back to Dr. Escobar. I was thinking that since she's accredited by our HMO and my parents' know her, it will be convenient for us to just have her as our doctor.
So on Saturday morning we finally saw her (it was my 2nd time but Jay's first) and we were quite enlightened, to say the least and became more hopeful.
Now Dr. A on our first meeting ordered a lot of tests but she never got around to checking the results. I was thinking it was a waste of time because she didn't even check it (My fault though because I didn't remind her and never mentioned it in our succeeding consultations). I find her a bit intimidating.
When I saw Dr. Escobar again, I brought the results of the tests and she read them and explained it thoroughly. Apparently, I'm not a full blooded PCOSer because my female hormones are good. And if you're a true PCOS patient, you'd have increased male hormones. The tests also show that I ovulate. Yey! The actual problem lies in my Luteinizing Hormone. In a nutshell, my hormones are out of whack and I have what she calls an Endometrial Ovarian Dissociative Disorder. And I thought Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome was already a mouthful!
Dr. Escobar said it's possible that I actually ovulate but my uterine lining doesn't thicken in time. It's like some sort of miscommunication between the hormones. So the best solution would be to regularize it. And that's what we'll be doing for the next 3 months before we start taking fertility pills.
As I was pondering on the whole situation, about the hormones and how everything should be in sync, I just realised how it's out of my hands. I mean, yes, there are ways for me to regulate my hormones by taking pills, losing weight and changing my lifestyle, but in the end, I'm still at the mercy of how well my body functions, and really just at the mercy of the One who created me. I'm not taking away the responsibility from myself to ensure that my body is well taken care of, but it dawned on me that in terms of bringing another human being into the world, sex, good quality eggs and fast swimming sperms don't guarantee another life in 9 months. It still greatly depends on God's plan for our lives. And it's not just any other plan, but THE "plan to prosper us and not to harm us, plans to give us hope and a future" (Jeremiah 29:11)
It was really God's providence that I was able to see her and consult with her for free! Bless her heart.
The first time I went to her office was late last year. When I was about to go for a follow up consultation, Jay and I missed her by a few minutes. We got to her clinic and was told by her secretary that she had just left for a meeting. I got frustrated and didn't feel like going back to see her again. I was really upset because we had to travel some distance but things didn't go according to plan.
So I looked up the internet for another OB who's also a reproductive endocrinologist and is accredited by our company's HMO. I found one and I saw her thrice. For reference, let's call her Dr. A. She laid down a fertility game plan and I was at the 3rd month of our first phase when I decided to rest. I was supposed to do my last round of taking fertility pills and follicle monitoring last month to see if I was releasing eggs but I decided to rest.
That's just me giving up at the last leg of our 3-month plan because I wasn't seeing any results. I was probably scared to get to the end of the first phase where, according to that OB, I have a 60-80% success rate. Because if nothing happens the 2nd phase will only have a 2-11% success rate. At the back of my head, I was doing my delaying tactics. But two consecutive months of trying did take a toll on me so resting for a cycle or two was the most logical step to take. I realized that 2 cycles of actively trying is my limit.
After that period of rest, I talked with Jay and broached the idea of trying again. We've had that type of conversation before, and discussed up to what extent we will try having a baby and at what age we'd consider adopting. We both agreed IVF is out of the equation (at least for now since we haven't really explored it. The cost is enough to discourage us). We also talked very briefly about how our finances will be affected by the fertility work up since we have to undergo numerous tests and take medications or supplements.
We've also decided to go back to Dr. Escobar. I was thinking that since she's accredited by our HMO and my parents' know her, it will be convenient for us to just have her as our doctor.
So on Saturday morning we finally saw her (it was my 2nd time but Jay's first) and we were quite enlightened, to say the least and became more hopeful.
Now Dr. A on our first meeting ordered a lot of tests but she never got around to checking the results. I was thinking it was a waste of time because she didn't even check it (My fault though because I didn't remind her and never mentioned it in our succeeding consultations). I find her a bit intimidating.
When I saw Dr. Escobar again, I brought the results of the tests and she read them and explained it thoroughly. Apparently, I'm not a full blooded PCOSer because my female hormones are good. And if you're a true PCOS patient, you'd have increased male hormones. The tests also show that I ovulate. Yey! The actual problem lies in my Luteinizing Hormone. In a nutshell, my hormones are out of whack and I have what she calls an Endometrial Ovarian Dissociative Disorder. And I thought Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome was already a mouthful!
Dr. Escobar said it's possible that I actually ovulate but my uterine lining doesn't thicken in time. It's like some sort of miscommunication between the hormones. So the best solution would be to regularize it. And that's what we'll be doing for the next 3 months before we start taking fertility pills.
As I was pondering on the whole situation, about the hormones and how everything should be in sync, I just realised how it's out of my hands. I mean, yes, there are ways for me to regulate my hormones by taking pills, losing weight and changing my lifestyle, but in the end, I'm still at the mercy of how well my body functions, and really just at the mercy of the One who created me. I'm not taking away the responsibility from myself to ensure that my body is well taken care of, but it dawned on me that in terms of bringing another human being into the world, sex, good quality eggs and fast swimming sperms don't guarantee another life in 9 months. It still greatly depends on God's plan for our lives. And it's not just any other plan, but THE "plan to prosper us and not to harm us, plans to give us hope and a future" (Jeremiah 29:11)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)