My tear bottle

It has been a few months since I started this blog. My heart was full of hope back then, and it was as if I was seeing the world with different eyes.

But between those moments and today, I've have had some "episodes" of dark despair. I thought my heart will always be full of hope and I wouldn't be asking questions anymore. It turned out I was just setting my self up for disappointment.

Even though I'm writing this now and my heart is at peace, I know that I could just as easily breakdown again when things don't go according to plan. I should be used to disappointment and frustration by now, but every time I get a negative pregnancy test and whenever I get my period, it's heartbreak all over again. The degree or level of pain varies as I've discovered recently.

There are times when a 3-minute cry in the shower is good enough, and there are times when the pain is just too heavy I would be crying my eyes out that it takes me 3 days to recover.

Then I remembered that God not only knows when I'm crying, He actually keeps track of my sorrow. He has a tear bottle for me.

Psalm 56:8

New Living Translation (NLT)

You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.

Our tears don't go unnoticed. We may cry silently on our own but we have a Father in heaven who feels our pain and who comforts us when we grieve. So yes, we can let those tears flow. It may be that the tears we've cried could already fill up an olympic size pool, but the good thing about it is that we don't cry as if there's no more hope in the horizon. The tears are momentary. God's promises are forever.

"Weeping may tarry for the night but joy comes with the morning" - Psalms 30:5b