Last weekend I went to my parents' house to see my Ob-Gyn (Dr. Malou Escobar). She was the one who delivered my adorable niece. She's not a fertility specialist but she's handled infertility cases and hopefully the last doctor we'll be consulting for our baby journey. Yep, I have a long list of doctors I've consulted with but Jay and I have decided to finally stick with her. Thank God for my dad's network of doctors (they're the best ones in their fields, too!)
It was really God's providence that I was able to see her and consult with her for free! Bless her heart.
The first time I went to her office was late last year. When I was about to go for a follow up consultation, Jay and I missed her by a few minutes. We got to her clinic and was told by her secretary that she had just left for a meeting. I got frustrated and didn't feel like going back to see her again. I was really upset because we had to travel some distance but things didn't go according to plan.
So I looked up the internet for another OB who's also a reproductive endocrinologist and is accredited by our company's HMO. I found one and I saw her thrice. For reference, let's call her Dr. A. She laid down a fertility game plan and I was at the 3rd month of our first phase when I decided to rest. I was supposed to do my last round of taking fertility pills and follicle monitoring last month to see if I was releasing eggs but I decided to rest.
That's just me giving up at the last leg of our 3-month plan because I wasn't seeing any results. I was probably scared to get to the end of the first phase where, according to that OB, I have a 60-80% success rate. Because if nothing happens the 2nd phase will only have a 2-11% success rate. At the back of my head, I was doing my delaying tactics. But two consecutive months of trying did take a toll on me so resting for a cycle or two was the most logical step to take. I realized that 2 cycles of actively trying is my limit.
After that period of rest, I talked with Jay and broached the idea of trying again. We've had that type of conversation before, and discussed up to what extent we will try having a baby and at what age we'd consider adopting. We both agreed IVF is out of the equation (at least for now since we haven't really explored it. The cost is enough to discourage us). We also talked very briefly about how our finances will be affected by the fertility work up since we have to undergo numerous tests and take medications or supplements.
We've also decided to go back to Dr. Escobar. I was thinking that since she's accredited by our HMO and my parents' know her, it will be convenient for us to just have her as our doctor.
So on Saturday morning we finally saw her (it was my 2nd time but Jay's first) and we were quite enlightened, to say the least and became more hopeful.
Now Dr. A on our first meeting ordered a lot of tests but she never got around to checking the results. I was thinking it was a waste of time because she didn't even check it (My fault though because I didn't remind her and never mentioned it in our succeeding consultations). I find her a bit intimidating.
When I saw Dr. Escobar again, I brought the results of the tests and she read them and explained it thoroughly. Apparently, I'm not a full blooded PCOSer because my female hormones are good. And if you're a true PCOS patient, you'd have increased male hormones. The tests also show that I ovulate. Yey! The actual problem lies in my Luteinizing Hormone. In a nutshell, my hormones are out of whack and I have what she calls an Endometrial Ovarian Dissociative Disorder. And I thought Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome was already a mouthful!
Dr. Escobar said it's possible that I actually ovulate but my uterine lining doesn't thicken in time. It's like some sort of miscommunication between the hormones. So the best solution would be to regularize it. And that's what we'll be doing for the next 3 months before we start taking fertility pills.
As I was pondering on the whole situation, about the hormones and how everything should be in sync, I just realised how it's out of my hands. I mean, yes, there are ways for me to regulate my hormones by taking pills, losing weight and changing my lifestyle, but in the end, I'm still at the mercy of how well my body functions, and really just at the mercy of the One who created me. I'm not taking away the responsibility from myself to ensure that my body is well taken care of, but it dawned on me that in terms of bringing another human being into the world, sex, good quality eggs and fast swimming sperms don't guarantee another life in 9 months. It still greatly depends on God's plan for our lives. And it's not just any other plan, but THE "plan to prosper us and not to harm us, plans to give us hope and a future" (Jeremiah 29:11)
